Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

Wow, how long has it been since I had a chance to defend an Ironfleet can with heavy missiles? Months, I think.

Tonight, I did, though. And how!

As I mentioned in the last post, I’ve been forced to do a bit of mission running lately, for standings. I finally worked my way up to a high-quality Level III agent in a convenient location, and so last night I began to relocate my fleet into that system so I can work out of there when I simply can’t stand the fork-to-the-face boredom that is mission running.

So, tonight I took the Crane out for a sweep of the belts, hoping to haul some ore before getting down to missions. And I saw an unusual thing: a guy, member of a corp in an alliance, who’s been playing four months longer than me, jet-can mining … in a Retriever. Flying a full set of mixed Tech 1 combat drones.

Needless to say, I was suspicious it might be a trap. Checked the graphics, yup, he’s got two lasers running; check the can ownership, yup it’s his can at least. No telling how many friends he’s got, though, just waiting a short warp away to pwn the careless and greedy.

Still, faint heart never won fair lady. I approached the can. Hey, it’s mostly full of plagioclase! So I grabbed a Craneload, flipped the rest into an Ironfleet jetcan, and hauled ore for the station.

Hauling all that in a Crane is not going to be easy — better to use a bigger hauler after the agro timer expires. So, I’ll jump in the handy Cerberus and go guard the Ironfleet can.

Remember my Cerberus? Have I mentioned my Cerberus? INDY was flying one against me during Chebri’s War, and I admired it. A lot. So I finished the necessary skilling, and bought one. It’s a hangar queen and a toy, mostly, but I luvs it to death and polishes it to a high shine every Saturday afternoon, whether it needs it or not. Aside from one brief-but-exciting encounter with a Vagabond, I haven’t had a chance to do any combat flying with it, although it blows through low-level missions like you would NOT believe. Overkillus Maximus!

Speaking of overkill…

When my Cerberus came out of warp thirty clicks from the Ironfleet can, there was no Ironfleet can.

What there was, was a flashing red Retriever. Really? Oh no, he didn’t!

Oh, yes, he did.

Lock, fire. In my haste, I somehow managed to miss turning on one heavy missile launcher, and I forgot to load the fancy missiles. So the first volley of four is on its way. Is he going to flee?

Let’s go to the videotape:

Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 184.9 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 184.9 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 225.6 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 231.2 damage.

Volley one! Is he fleeing? Why, no, he’s sent his drones after me. He wants to fight!

Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf places an excellent hit on you, inflicting 13.8 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf hits you, doing 8.6 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 11.6 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 10.9 damage.
Hornet I belonging to ArcticIcewolf heavily hits you, inflicting 10.6 damage.

Oooh, that smarted! Volley two, away!

Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 231.1 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 290.3 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 308.2 damage.
Your Scourge Heavy Missile hits ArcticIcewolf (Retriever), doing 308.2 damage.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.
Heavy Missile Launcher II deactivates as ArcticIcewolf’s Retriever begins to explode.

Oops, that was fast.

A moment’s pause. And then, in local:

ArcticIcewolf > Marlenus you fucking prick

I decide not to dignify that with a response, but there’s a bystander:

Waxau > lol
Waxau > NERD RAGE!

Here’s the killmail:

Victim: ArcticIcewolf
Alliance: Chances of Misfortune
Corp: Hearts of Obsidian
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 2067

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.2
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Cerberus
Weapon: Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1964

Name: Thorn Rocket / Guristas
Damage Done: 103

Destroyed items:

Strip Miner I

Dropped items:

Strip Miner I

So, I’m closing with the wreck to scoop that stripminer, and I’m thinking, this guy’s been playing longer than I have, he’s in an allianced corp, he should know better. What was he thinking?

I scooped the miner, flipped all the plagioclase back into an Ironfleet can, filled my cargo hold, and docked. Decided to go back and guard the can some more, until it’s safe to take a hauler in.

Back I went. In the Cerberus. Parked about 70 clicks out.

Here comes ArcticIcewolf, still flashing red, in an industrial (Bestower). I guess he still wants the ore. Doesn’t he know better?

Apparently, not:

Victim: ArcticIcewolf
Alliance: Chances of Misfortune
Corp: Hearts of Obsidian
Destroyed: Bestower
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 1956

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.2
Alliance: NONE
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Ship: Cerberus
Weapon: Scourge Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1956

Destroyed items:

Civilian Expanded Cargohold, Qty: 2

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he’s been playing since December of 2005 and he’s fitted his hauler with CIVILIAN EXPANDED CARGOHOLDS!

By now, I figure he’s mad, but there’s been no further smack in local. I continue guarding the can until the agro wears off, and meanwhile, I strike up a chat with a friendly bored hulk pilot. We’re talking about unrelated stuff, he mentions an ISK windfall he just got, and I mention a market killing I made once due to another player’s error. Suddenly, we’re hearing from ArcticIcewolf in local. During the conversation you are about to read, I had time to haul all the ore in my Crane (sadly, I didn’t have a larger hauler in system, so it took about four trips) and then come back in my salvage destroyer to salvage both of ArcticIcewolf’s wrecks. My favorite part of what follows is where ArcticIcewolf explains that he can’t fight because he has a life, and thus cannot play enough to afford any combat vessels:

09:04:54: ArcticIcewolf > hey you cant help being an asshole its in your nature
09:05:03: Marlenus > Lol, still chafing are we?
09:05:17: ArcticIcewolf > just a tad
09:05:38: Marlenus > Honestly I’m not sure why you came back in the hauler when I had an Ironfleet can to defend.
09:06:15: Lord Vindicarious > Did you boys get in a pissing match?
09:06:22: ArcticIcewolf > well concidering you stole all my shit i dunno think bout it
09:06:30: Marlenus > Naw, just an altercation over ore floating in space
09:06:42: Marlenus > Cerberus versus retriever, it was fast but ugly
09:06:43: ArcticIcewolf > yeah fucker stole my ore
09:07:03: Marlenus > actually, you were flashing for taking ore from an Ironfleet can, if we must be precise
09:07:23: ArcticIcewolf > because you stole the shit put it back out as yours
09:07:36: Lord Vindicarious > Tisk, tisk
09:07:50: Marlenus > All that fit, I kept, and I’m still hauling it as we speak.
09:07:52: Lord Vindicarious > Honestly, that’s what you get for not using a secure can
09:08:01: Gregory Wallace > sounds shady
09:08:07: ArcticIcewolf > oh that justifies it ?
09:08:26: Lord Vindicarious > Well, yeah that’s what you get for being a dumbass
09:08:30: Marlenus > You make it sound like I was trying to be deceptive, when I was just doing good honest salvage.
09:08:36: Marlenus > Of ore jettisoned into space.
09:09:19: Lord Vindicarious > People can only take what is unsecured
09:09:51: ArcticIcewolf > Lets see its rite next to me and you take it and then Rejettison it as your own, thats Honest ?
09:10:15: Marlenus > Just cleaning up the spaceways, one of the services Ironfleet Towing And Salvage is always happy to provide!
09:10:21: Gregory Wallace > someone picking a fight is what it was
09:10:32: Marlenus > Nah, somebody hauling ore is what it was.
09:10:41: ArcticIcewolf > its you being a dooshbag
09:10:52: Lord Vindicarious > And if you are flying a mining barge, you really shouldn’t jetison unsecure cans unless you WANT some prick to to pick a fight with you
09:10:55: Marlenus > I didn’t really expect the guy in the mining barge to pick an actual fight.
09:11:21: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, sorry but you get no sympathy
09:11:41: ArcticIcewolf > lol why because you just as disshonest as him ?
09:11:47: Lord Vindicarious > Nope
09:11:53: ArcticIcewolf > really
09:12:02: Lord Vindicarious > I never bother stealing ore, it isn’t worth my time
09:12:07: Gregory Wallace > with mining u have to have muscle with u- have a buddy or two cloak a recon by u
09:12:09: ArcticIcewolf > standing up for a disshonest player dont really put high marks on your moral opinions
09:12:42: Lord Vindicarious > However, if I am in my salvager and there are unclaimed wrecks laying about, I’ll salvage them
09:13:10: ArcticIcewolf > even if they rite next to the miner and you know whos it is
09:13:31: Lord Vindicarious > If you are in the belt, i’ll ask first
09:14:08: ArcticIcewolf > well great for you , but marlenus is as disshonest as they come
09:14:15: Lord Vindicarious > But as to your origional gripe of somebody flipping your can, sorry but that is like the oldest trick in eve of picking a fight with somebody
09:14:42: Lord Vindicarious > He did it so you would give him a reason to be able to shoot you
09:15:02: Marlenus > Actually, Lord V, that’s where you are wrong — nobody believes me but I really do do this for the ore.
09:15:25: Marlenus > I was in a T2 transport when this all started, hauling.
09:15:26: ArcticIcewolf > why cant earn your own
09:15:39: Marlenus > It is my own once it’s in my hangar.
09:15:47: Lord Vindicarious > LOL
09:16:22: Lord Vindicarious > I’ll tell you what though Mar, if you ever tried taking MY ore I’d kick your ass
09:16:39: Lord Vindicarious > I wouldn’t just whine about it in local
09:16:59: Lord Vindicarious > (hint hint)
09:17:00: Marlenus > I can respect that. Whether you’d succeed is an open question, but that’s a perfectly respectable approach to take.
09:17:30: ArcticIcewolf > hint all you like lord, some of us have a lifes and arnt on enough to earn biggger badder ships to fight back
09:18:29: Lord Vindicarious > I’m only on for about an hour or so a day, I think I “have a life” thank you
09:18:38: Marlenus > No salvage on the mining barge. :(
09:19:20: Marlenus > couple of burned logic circs from the hauler wreck
09:19:44: Lord Vindicarious > However, that being said, I’ve been playing eve since 2003, so I think I just might have the combat skills to kick your ass Mar if we are both in the same type of ship
09:19:56: Marlenus > Of that, I have NO doubt.
09:20:01: Lord Vindicarious > LOL
09:20:01: Marlenus > I am not a combat pilot…
09:20:14: Marlenus > …and I try very hard to start any fights with an overwhelming tonnage advantage.
09:21:05: Lord Vindicarious > Drones are nice, too
09:21:19: Marlenus > But I am very very good at getting ore out from under the guns of combat escorts, you might be surprised, once.
09:21:39: Marlenus > Having the element of surprise helps a lot
09:21:48: ArcticIcewolf > well, i do respect that you are honest about being Disshonest
09:22:06: Marlenus > You made up that dishonesty part, I see nothing dishonest about salvage
09:22:18: ArcticIcewolf > thats not salvage thats thievery
09:22:36: Marlenus > I believe we disagree on that point.
09:23:06: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, this point is getting a bit stale
09:23:07: ArcticIcewolf > nothing made up, your a poor player, you just admitted a few sentences up about being very good at getting ore from uder other players noses
09:23:25: Marlenus > Not “admitted”, rather I think I was bragging just a bit
09:23:40: Marlenus > And I don’t consider that any sign of being a poor player
09:24:02: Marlenus > Lord V, if you think it’s stale, how do you think I feel? I hear this sort of thing quite often, as you might imagine. ;-)
09:24:32: Lord Vindicarious > Artic, I’m sorry but when you consider the nature of this game then you have nobody to blame but yourself
09:24:40: ArcticIcewolf > if you hear it quite often then i’d prob say your logic of thinking nothing is wrong is missconstrued
09:24:47: Lord Vindicarious > DON’T USE UNSECURED CANS
09:24:56: Marlenus > Well, somebody’s logic has a problem, I’ll grant you that much.
09:25:11: ArcticIcewolf > I can respect that Lord but, to say he was rite in his actions is not rite
09:26:02: Lord Vindicarious > I am NOT saying he is right, I AM saying however that YOU are wrong for using unsecured cans and not expecting to be stolen from
09:27:46: Marlenus > Good night gentlemen, it has a been a pleasure providing salvage services and public entertainments to the good citizens of [redacted].
09:27:58: Gregory Wallace > night
09:27:59: Marlenus > Ironfleet out.
09:27:59: Lord Vindicarious > LOL, night

I think I’ll leave you with a bit of bedtime poetry (for it is far past my bedtime as I write this.) This is copied, verbatim, all spelling and punctuation unchanged, I shit you not (although I did add line breaks) from ArcticIcewolf’s bio:

I Hunt in the deepest and darkest reaches of Space,
I hunt those who wrong others,
I hunt where no man dares to go,
I protect those who cannot defend themselfs,
I hunt those who believe in enslavement of others,
I will not Rest
I can Not die,
therefor I am like the Wolfs of thee Arctic on our Homeworld whome we Lost contact with long long ago,
I run with the pack I die with the pack,
the only problem is,
;) the pack never dies!!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 4:52 am and is filed under Name And Shame, Notable Smacktalk, Salvage Notes, Today In Ironfleet. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.