Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

So, has nobody sent the numpties in empire a memo about can flippers? Is this honored art forgotten? Because man, today it’s been like shooting fish in a rain barrel.

For starters, I found Ddykarn. He made the classic mistake. He was jet-can mining in a Retriever with one T1 combat drone out. I picked up his small quantum of ore, and aligned for home. To him it must have looked like the helpless hauler was running away. His drone nibbled me. I blew him up.

2010.06.24 21:23:00

Victim: ddykarn
Corp: Caldari Provisions
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 1700

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Thunderbolt Fury Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1700

Destroyed items:

Strip Miner I
Expanded Cargohold II, Qty: 2
Survey Scanner II

Dropped items:

Strip Miner I
Small Nosferatu I (Cargo)

Less than nine minutes later, I find another Retriever doing the same thing, only this one has mining drones out. His jet-can is almost full, so I flipped it, taking what I could carry. Again, align for home. Again, he locked me up, and launches one combat drone. Then, he simultaneously attacks me and flips the can back. This guy wanted a fight.

He got it. Note the small armor repper, which he was using heavily, for all the good it did him:

2010.06.24 21:32:00

Victim: Wolf Loner4
Corp: State Protectorate
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Caldari State
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 2506

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Thunderbolt Fury Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 2506

Destroyed items:

Warrior I (Drone Bay)
Small Armor Repairer I
Mining Drone I (Drone Bay)
Concentrated Veldspar, Qty: 2 (Cargo)
Viscous Pyroxeres, Qty: 6666 (Cargo)
Strip Miner I

Dropped items:

Mining Drone I, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)
Strip Miner I

This guy was not a good sport. He wanted a fight, but not letting him win apparently makes me a bad person. I got an EveMail:

Subject: asshole
From: Wolf Loner4
Sent: 2010.06.24 21:41
To: Marlenus,

you mother fucker i hope you go to fuckin hell you stupid ass im going to hunt your sorry ass down

Getting mail like that always makes me feel better about blowing up the young and inexperienced.

So, after blowing him up, I looted his strip miner, flipped the ore back into my can (what I couldn’t carry), and docked up. Did some other errands, noticed his timer had run out, was thinking about going back to pick up the ore. When suddenly, his icon went all ragey-skull in local. My, my, did he just flip the ore back a second time? Some people need more than one exposure to life’s important lessons.

This time, I undocked in a bomber. Warped to 20. My can is gone, but there’s a flashy red Wreathe, just sitting there.

Uncloak, lock, paint, torps away!

And lo, there was an earthshattering kaboom, just as the scripture promised:

2010.06.24 21:53:00

Victim: Wolf Loner4
Corp: State Protectorate
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Caldari State
Destroyed: Wreathe
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 1286

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Juggernaut Torpedo
Damage Done: 1286

Destroyed items:

Basic Expanded Cargohold, Qty: 2
Scordite, Qty: 5000 (Cargo)
10MN Afterburner I

Dropped items:

Scordite, Qty: 9193 (Cargo)

It’s possible that three torps was overkill. But, he cursed at me!

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 24th, 2010 at 4:16 pm and is filed under Name And Shame, Notable Smacktalk, Today In Ironfleet. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.