Ironfleet Towing And Salvage

Hunting the wormholes some more today. First action of the day was an Anathema covert ops sitting uncloaked at a planet, probing; but I messed that one up. Ended up engaging from outside point range due to impatience and poor planning; he’ll want new underwear, but he got away.

Fast forward several hours. The Empress and I are in a new wormhole, and judging by the d-scan, there’s a drake ratting solo in here somewhere. Now, I’m not going to attack a Drake, but he might be coming back in a salvage ship, so I need to find him.

I do some tricky probing. (My tricky probing needs a ton of practice.) Drake vanishes. WTF? I was being careful. Then I see why … there’s a Coercer destroyer on d-scan, sitting at a nearby planet with probes out. That’s not very dangerous looking, or very smart-looking, either.

The Coercer pilot may be probing, but he’s not watching his own d-scan very carefully. He’s still there when I warp in, and he isn’t even moving. He’s still trying to lock me when my second volley of torps blows him to smithereens:

2011.04.28 02:18:00

Victim: odditee vevesparious
Corp: BLUE ORE FEDERATION
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Coercer
System: J112934
Security: -1.0
Damage Taken: 2461

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Juggernaut Torpedo
Damage Done: 2461

Destroyed items:

Core Probe Launcher I
Salvager I
Gamma S
Dual Light Pulse Laser I
Astrometric Pinpointing (Cargo)
Small Semiconductor Memory Cell I
Medium Shield Booster I
Small Armor Repairer I
Quantum Co-Processor I
Medium Pulse Laser I
Overdrive Injector System I
Small Capacitor Control Circuit I
Small Ancillary Current Router I
Multifrequency S
Dual Light Beam Laser I

Dropped items:

Gamma S
Dual Light Pulse Laser I
Core Scanner Probe I, Qty: 3
Medium Pulse Laser I
Ultraviolet S, Qty: 2
‘Skadi’ Coolant System I
Multifrequency S
Dual Light Beam Laser I

Note the three different flavors of laser, the lack of even a Prototype cloak, and last but not least, the Astrometric Pinpointing skill book in the cargo hold.

He just sat there, too, until I pointed his pod:

2011.04.28 02:19:00

Victim: odditee vevesparious
Corp: BLUE ORE FEDERATION
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Capsule
System: J112934
Security: -1.0
Damage Taken: 386

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Juggernaut Torpedo
Damage Done: 386

The best part, though, was when I looked up his corp info. There in the corp description, I found:

Small corp looking for mates to beat Incursions. Level 4 missions, Mining. Future worm hole ops. Future POS in the makng.

Remember, my guy is just a baby; his character is only three weeks old. A lot to learn before they put up that POS? You betcha. But in just three weeks, he found his way into a wormhole and was looking around for trouble. I admire the spunk, I truly do.

So, as promised in the last post, I’ve been noodling around in W-space with The Empress of Greater Mars. My internets have sucked due to local storms, so all I’ve really done is lurk and scan and wait for targets.

Tonight, shortly after I logged in, The Empress noticed a Covetor mining barge on the scanner. The system had been empty and she had probes up, which were quickly relocated to avoid detection. The Covetor launched drones, so I figured he was mining…and here I made another newb mistake.

We had probed out a grav site the previous day, but due to poor bookmark labelling and cluelessness, mistakenly thought we didn’t have the bookmark. So, careful probing. (Turns out the bookmark was available … doh!)

Apparently the probing wasn’t careful enough, because by the time The Empress got a warp in, the Covetor was gone. By the time I got on grid, there was nothing there but a jet can.

A moment later, the Covetor pilot turned back up on the grid … in an Imicus. I sent The Empress to go watch the POS, while I watched the Imicus.

He motored over to the jetcan, as if checking its contents, or making a bookmark the hard way. Then he left, and arrived back at the POS.

Where, The Empress reported, he got in an Iteron. And sat there.

And sat there, and sat there, and sat there…

Eventually, she took a screenshot:

And then we waited some more. This wormhole hunting game is not for the impatient.

Then, finally, he warped. And showed up under the sights of my bomber, 22km away, just like a clay pigeon sliding in front of the bead of your shotgun.

The rest was anticlimax — a cheap but very satisfying kill. He popped when the first volley arrived:

2011.04.27 03:40:00

Victim: Clacius
Corp: Elatum Legionum
Alliance: Steel Union
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Iteron
System: J155124
Security: -1.0
Damage Taken: 1922

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Manticore
Weapon: Caldari Navy Juggernaut Torpedo
Damage Done: 1922

Destroyed items:

EP-S Gaussian I Excavation Pulse
Compulsive Ion Field ECM I

Dropped items:

‘Shade’ I White Noise ECM

I was hoping he’d be so stunned I could shoot the pod, but that wan’t very likely, and didn’t happen. He did come right back in an Amarr shuttle to look at his empty wreck, but of course didn’t linger.

About half an hour later, and just as I was about to post this, he suddenly swapped back into his Covetor. Could he, would he, REALLY?

Sadly, nope. He logged.

If I’d felt like being much more patient, I probably should have let the Iteron go, and banked on the resulting false sense of security convincing the guy to come back out in his Covetor again. But, y’know, I wanted to kill something.

Hey, everybody.

This can flipping business, it’s fun, but it’s kinda limiting. The worst part is, you can’t shoot at anybody who doesn’t screw up somehow. And sometimes I just want to, you know, shoot people.

But, I’m sort of a misanthrope. Every time I try to play in a big corp or an alliance, I get pissed off during the “group activities” and end up not logging in for months on end. No good.

I got to thinking about my PvP strengths, such as they are. I’m able to be very patient, I have excellent missile skills, and I love to scan. During this most recent away-from-EVE hiatus, I finished maxing most of the skills pertinent to flying a bomber.

Obvious solution: go hunting in wormhole space. A lot.

My thoughts were trending that way anyway, and then I found this blog: Confessions of a Wormhole Killer. It’s moribund at the moment, but it’s chock full of anecdotes about hunting with a bomber, with the aid of a confederate in a covert ops ship to do the scanning. I was inspired. I had to read the whole thing.

Then I spent much of yesterday figuring out where I left my bombers, and updating their fits. These are old bombers, dating from my time in TEARS; all the ones I found had large rigs in them, if that gives you an idea. I also had to find a scanning confederate. So I called up my old buddy, the lady I used to call The Empress of Greater Mars. It turns out she used most of her skill points from the learning skills refund to get Level V on all the probing skills. Perfect!

Last night we found a wormhole, an inhabited Class 3, just a bit before downtime. We deployed into the hole, did a little preliminary surveying, and went to bed.

Today, when I logged in, I found some Germans active in there. I only had about half an hour to play this morning, but there was a Mammoth on scan…

Long story short, I’m still a noob, and rusty on the wormhole jump mechanics. I didn’t blow anything up. But there came this moment when I was sitting on a wormhole, cloaked, in my bomber, and a battleship jumped in…

Now, if he jumps in, he can jump right back out. I knew this. But I got buck fever. I wanted to shoot something. It had been too long. So, I decloaked, locked him, started shooting, painted him, orbited him… and my salvos started hitting him for almost 3,000 (!) damage a salvo. (I gave my bomber some nice, if spendy, upgrades in this latest refit, based on hints and tips from the Wormhole Confessions guy.) So my battleship punching bag? His shields were gone in two shots. And then, of course, he jumped back out, doubtless to go buy a new set of clean underpants in Jita.

I’d forgotten how much fun bombers in wormholes can be. I’ll do better, next time.

Ironfleet has always maintained that we are just in the ore hauling business for, you know, the ore. And back in the day, I hauled a lot of ore. But these days, genuine jet can miners are hard to find; the Orca, hauler alts, and cheap cargo rigs offer too many alternatives.

There’s always that one guy, though. Today, it was Capo Kicx, a sixteen-month veteran of the game and the junior member of the 2-person Kicx Family corp [KICX]. He was mining in a Hulk, flying Tech II combat drones, and had accumulated two full jetcans of assorted ores.

Well, that would not do. I had to flip that ore into Ironfleet cans. I really thought that might get me a combat reaction, and perhaps it would have. Except, Capo suffered a disconnection, and warped off without his drones.

I salvaged them.

Eventually Capo got back on line, and his Hulk returned. In space you cannot hear the screams of “WTF, where are my drones?” But still they scream.

Then he docked, and did not return. I got to scrounging in my assets, and discovered that I had an ancient dusty Bustard in this sytem, placed here years ago for just this sort of eventuality. It was fully cargo-expanded, so even without rigs (when I fitted this ships there were only large rigs, and they were oh-so-spendy!) it can haul a full jet can in one load. Two round trips and quick refine later, I was up 4.5 million easy ISK.

Just in it for the ore, I tell you!

So I was meandering the belts when I found a Hulk piloted by a three-year-old character, flying Tech I drones.

Probably no hope of getting a rise out of this guy, but he had several rat wrecks out, so I started my standard “clueless looter” routine.

After I cleared the first wreck, he pulled in his drones. That’s not a good sign of agression, darn it!

As I chundle toward the next wreck, he opens a convo. For a change of pace, I took it. This is what he had to say as I finished looting his wrecks. Note especially the dire threat he opens with, followed by his meek and timorous words when I called his bluff:

[20:16:46] Arclightuk > Fuck off or i will bring all levels of hell down on you
[20:16:52] Marlenus > You go boy
[20:17:00] Arclightuk > lol i like yiouyr spirit
[20:17:12] Marlenus > So scared of hulk pilots, I am
[20:17:25] Arclightuk > have you watched the pvp hulk on you tube?
[20:17:35] Marlenus > Yeah. You gonna do that to me?
[20:17:43] Arclightuk > ha ha you are in a badger!
[20:17:47] Arclightuk > type thing
[20:17:51] Marlenus > Take your best shot, big boy
[20:18:24] Arclightuk > you are ok, im not bothered if you loot
[20:18:37] Arclightuk > im too busy watching californication
[20:18:39] Marlenus > LOL, than why all the threats of hell and damnation?
[20:18:54] Arclightuk > i thought it sounded scarey
[20:19:04] Arclightuk > us care bears like that sort of thing
[20:19:10] Marlenus > Heh. One last chance, you want to shoot at the helpless badger before I warp out?
[20:19:24] Arclightuk > no your good. loot all you want buddy
[20:19:34] Marlenus > ciao
[20:19:40] Arclightuk > cheers

He huffed and he puffed, but he didn’t blow my house down! {sadface}

I know, I know. Serious PvPers my age are expected to scoff at the lowly Caracal. It’s a one-trick pony, nice DPS in a cruiser hull with five heavy missile launchers, but it’s too slow to catch anything and if you tank it properly, it can’t tackle all that well. I’ve always loved it, but when it comes to flying it, there’s usually something that will serve my purpose better.

But still. Remember I’m flying a freaking hauler, lately. We hauler pilots really don’t like heavy missiles.

So there I am in the belts, quietly demonstrating to a Retriever pilot, name of Connectius, why we don’t jet-can mine in the modern age. As I wait for his response, which never happens, I notice two things. The first is a Dread Gurista wreck, and the second is its owner, sitting near it in a Caracal.

However, by the time I make the connection between DG and Caracal, I’m in motion toward the DG wreck. Those things can have great loot.

Seeing me rumbling toward his wreck, the Caracal pilot targets me.

Ohshit, ohshit. Is this guy actually ratting? A mining cruiser I can fight, but a fully armed Caracal? Not necessarily smart.

So I pull his employment file. Interesting — he’s still in State War Academy, and he’s only 26 days old. He could be ratting in high sec, but if he’s fit right, he could still toast my buns. On the other hand, 26 days, and ratting in highsec? The flavor says “real new guy”, and that means the odds are against a good (dangerous to me) fit. The way to bet is what a veteran would consider a comedy fit, even though I still remember how freakin’ hard it was to fit my first cruiser with ISK I earned ratting, so I tend not to laugh at the fits that result.

All this finishes flashing through my brain as I pulled up on the DG wreck. Tag and ammo, nothing sweet. Do I really want to do this? This could really HURT goddammit! If he’s actually fit for PvP, with a point and a full rack of missiles, and has enough speed to keep me inside his point range… but he’s NEW. Surely he won’t be able to do all that in a Caracal?

One way to find out. They don’t call us Ironfleet Towing And Salvage for nothing! I yoinked the DG loot.

And boom! I’m getting missiles on my shields. Point the schmoe, get out in a nice long orbit, and start throwing missiles at him!

Nice dent out of my shields, let’s touch those up, nice, holding nicely as long as my cap does, let’s have a look at the damage messages in the little window…WTF?

Son, sometimes it pays to be a gambler. This boyo is shooting me with light freaking missiles! I guess he’s had no time to train the heavies, yet.

Good thing, too. His salvo of five lights was hitting me for about 20% more damage than my one heavy was hitting him for. And I can tank that … not forever, but for what looks like a really long time.

His shields? They take a little dent each time I hit him, and he dosn’t have the regen to tank it. I wait for some active repping out of him, but I don’t see it. Maybe he’s all passive?

Suddenly, the distance between us starts to widen. He wants to run! Can’t have that, so I give chase at my stately 247 m/sec rumble:

Everything is going my way today, because he can’t open the distance. By now, I’ve about shot out my first stick of 40 missiles, and his shield is just about gone, and showing a tiny bit of armor bleed. Hope the reload doesn’t take too long!

It doesn’t. The slow methodical battering continues. He stops shooting at some point — I thought maybe he was out of missiles, but apparently not judging from the kill mail. Finally, after 58 salvoes of one missile each, the Caracal explodes:

So, I was getting bored with the hunting around my usual hangouts. And I saw some assets down in Dodixie that needed my attention. So I packed a few trade goods into my fighting Crane, and set off on a combination hunt and trading expedition.

Part way there, I stopped by the system of Kamio. And cruising belt to belt, I found that there was an active mining corp in system — Rare Earth Elements, LLC [REELC]. Six or eight guys in local at any time — which makes engaging them tricky! — and at least half of those in mining barges. (But remember, I’ve been burned in the past by guys in Retrievers helping my primary target.)

So when I found a Retriever with a mostly-full jet-can out, naturally I flipped it, keeping only what would fit in my Crane. (Long way from home, no backup hauler handy.) But the guy was flying a full rack of mining drones, and he wouldn’t take from my can, so no joy there. I blew the Ironfleet can and moved on.

Actually, I docked; it was time to watch some TV with the girlfriend.

Then a bit later, her phone rang and it was a call she wanted to take. So I sat back down at my computer, and started checking the belts again.

And what’s this? Another REELC Retriever with a chock-full jet can out. How many friends does he have in local? Six? Careful…

Flipped can, loaded up what ore I could fit. This guy is flying combat drones. Started flying away — the urge to pounce is always strongest when the “prey” is seen to be fleeing. And sure enough, he’s locking me!

Truth to tell, I messed up the combat. I had my Ironfleet jetcan locked also, so once his drones started shooting me, I shot back at the barge … but I warp disrupted my own jetcan. If he’d wanted to flee, he might have had time.

But no … I caught him on the next cycle. This might be because my missles were just pecking him. It was the toughest Retriever I’ve ever seen — it seemed to take forever to beat him into rubble. At least three times as many missiles as I usually need for a Retriever. WTF? He actually had time to try to run away from my point, but of course he didn’t have the speed.

And of course, all the while I’m expecting his vengeful buddies to come skidding out of warp, intent on violencing my boat. But finally, he popped. And what’s this in his wreck? Modulated Strip Miner IIs? Tasty!

2011.04.15 03:40:00

Victim: Darrium Sinclairium
Corp: Rare Earth Elements LLC
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Retriever
System: Kamio
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 1872

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Thunderbolt Precision Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1858

Name: Guristas Arrogator / Guristas
Damage Done: 14

Destroyed items:

Small Armor Repairer I
Mining Drone I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)
Expanded Cargohold I
Plagioclase Mining Crystal I

Dropped items:

Plagioclase, Qty: 6714 (Cargo)
Survey Scanner I
Plagioclase Mining Crystal I
Modulated Strip Miner II, Qty: 2

Scoop, align, blow Ironfleet can full of ore, dock safe. And then it was time to place a stern phone call to the missile compartment. “What were you idiots shooting at him? Spitwads?”

There was an uncomfortable pause. Then “Uh, Captain…”

My mistake. Damn. I’d been stalking a Hulk earlier, and he had TII drones up. That can be dicy, and I often start a fight like that by taking out a drone or three with Precision missiles. Which — you guessed it — were still up the spout for this whole combat. Doh!

I never cease to marvel at the power of the “it’s just a helpless hauler” meme. These guys aren’t packing warp disruptors, so what are they expecting to accomplish? Is it just a “Fuck you” gesture?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I was taking one last belt patrol before calling it a day, when I came upon another Retriever mining barge with a jet can out. I motored over to have a look, and while it wasn’t even close to full, it had more in it than my combat Crane can hold. So, I flipped it into an Ironfleet can.

He instantly jettisoned another can of ore. WTF? If he noticed the old can was gone, why would he jet a new one while I’m sitting right there? (I haven’t quite forgotten just how confusing EVE is when you’re new, and how easy it is to do stupid stuff by accident in the heat of the moment. But it’s been almost five years, so it’s harder and harder to remember.)

Anyway, thank you for all donations! I added the contents of the new can to the old can. Then, seeing no immediate response, I decided to go clean up a couple of his wrecks. That takes a little while, and when I’m done, I decide to wait and see if he’ll jet me a third can of ore after his next mining cycle.

Instead, what do you suppose he did?

Yes, my friends, he launched five drones and sent them to attack me.

Well, after that it was all over but the whooshing and the kaboom:

2011.04.09 23:58:00

Victim: John Brut
Corp: Falcon Prospect
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 1912

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Caldari Navy Thunderbolt Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 1912

Destroyed items:

Residual Survey Scanner I
Medium Cargohold Optimization I, Qty: 3
Co-Processor I
Strip Miner I, Qty: 2
Pyroxeres, Qty: 3048 (Cargo)

Dropped items:

Plagioclase, Qty: 2612 (Cargo)
Mining Laser Upgrade I

When I came back for the second load of ore, he was still sitting there in his pod. Rage-break and he went for a beer?

The targets are harder to find, but they’re still out there.

Today after about ten jumps of hunting roam (which takes a lot of time when you’re checking all belts in a Crane) I found a hapless Retriever pilot parked next to an almost-full (!) can of Pyroxeres.

Well, that spatial navigation hazard had to be fixed, so I put that ore into an Ironfleet can.

He didn’t have me locked and he didn’t have another can out and he wasn’t flying any drones, but he immediately turned flashy red. So, I figure he must have said “Mine mine mine!” in his best Daffy Duck voice, and yoinked some of the ore back into his cargo hold.

Bad idea. Retrievers being what they are, he popped like popcorn. He had just enough time to launch some combat drones and set them on me, but it didn’t do him any good:

2011.04.09 22:05:00

Victim: Mmel
Corp: Elite Institution of Scholars and Sickos
Alliance: Unknown
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Retriever
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.7
Damage Taken: 2162

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Caldari Navy Thunderbolt Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 2162

Destroyed items:

Solid Pyroxeres, Qty: 2643 (Cargo)
Mining Laser Upgrade I
Concentrated Veldspar, Qty: 376 (Cargo)
Strip Miner I

Dropped items:

Residual Survey Scanner I
Guristas Hellfire Assault Missile, Qty: 1000 (Cargo)
Dread Guristas Copper Tag (Cargo)
Strip Miner I
Guristas Iron Charge S, Qty: 1000 (Cargo)
Quantum Co-Processor I

Note the two bricks of tasty Gurista ammo in the salvage — that’s better loot than Retrievers usually drop.

I was in a system where I’ve operated before, so I had a Badger II handy; that meant I got to take all that lovely ore home, too.

Ironfleet is BACK, people!

Like I said yesterday, I’ve been looking for an ambitious Hulk pilot who wants to shoot at the helpless hauler. And, today I found one.

I had to go hunting, but I found a system with a lot of hulks mining in it, about six jumps from home. Nobody had jet cans out though, so I reverted to Plan B, and spent a little time motoring around cleaning up their wrecks. (This usually doesn’t work … not without the motivation of lost ore to fire the blood … but I’m having to do a lot more of it, since people don’t jetcan mine much any more.)

And then this one guy jetted a whole cargo bay full of ore while I was cleaning up some of the wrecks in his belt. Really? That’s got to be bait, I told myself; he must want me to flip him. I better check out his backup. Nope, he’s alone in system, no corpies standing by. Could he be aggressive enough to think his Tech I drones will toast me?

Let’s see.

So, I motored over there and flipped his can … more ore than will fit in my battle Crane, of course. But I took what I could, and put the rest in an Ironfleet jet can.

Negative response from target. Sigh, oh well. I’ll go stow this and come back, sometimes they get angry and do something foolish when you come back for the second load.

Docked at nearest station. Dumped ore. Check overview before undocking… NO, WAIT! He’s a skull now! Did he really take my ore back?

Let’s go see.

I undocked. When the overview loaded, I see that he’s now got a corp mate in the system, showing in local. Crap! If he gets backup, there’s no chance. But maybe it’s his hauler alt, right? I’ll be careful.

So, back to the belt with me. There he is, one official flashy red hulk, just like I ordered. It’s a sight I have only seen twice before in my Eve career, once in my Crane and once in a bomber. Lock, point, orbit, and start with the heavy missiles. My heart’s in my throat now … where’s his backup, and what are they flying?

He’s only got Hammerhead I drones, which I can tank easily. But he’s a trooper; he sends them out to chew on me. He’s also got some active repair, so it’s going slowly. I’m gaining on his shields, but it’s clear he’s not going to die to the first launcher full of missiles. Where is his backup?

By the time I’m nearly out of missiles, I’m halfway through his armor, but it’s going slowly because I’m still shooting Caldari Navy Thunderbolts — great on shields, not so great on Hulk armor. So, I reload with Havoc Furies, and let fly again.

About this time, he pulls his drones and tries to pop a conversation window with me. Does he want to beg? Or smack? No matter; I need this kill. So I click away the convo request without accepting it. (When I was in the TEARS alliance, they’d have yelled at me for missing a chance to harvest tears … but that’s not why I play.)

Where is his mutherfrackin’ BACKUP? The suspense of waiting for the other shoe to drop is KILLING me.

Unfortunately, the change in ammo was a big mistake. In the time it took me to reload, he got a repair cycle or two in, and so now I’m shooting the wrong ammo type at his shields, and he’s easily outrepping me. So, I reloaded again, back to the Thunderbolts, and by the time I’m done with that reload, he’s all the way back up to half shields. Frick!

By this point, I am starting to think he’s got the worst corpmates ever, because his backup still has not arrived. I’m trying — and mostly failing — to think of a ship his corpmate could be in that I wouldn’t have to run from.

Meanwhile, the slow barrage continues, one heavy missile downrange every 6.34 seconds. Finally he’s into structure. Do I dare break my orbit and close with his soon-to-be wreck … the place where his backup has GOT to land eventually? Answer: whether I dare or not, this is Ironfleet. If I don’t get the loot, it’s only partial credit. There are standards to uphold. So, I broke orbit and started closing, at my majestic 257 meters/second.

Then… finally… came the Earthshattering Kaboom we’ve all been waiting for:

2011.04.07 23:48:00

Victim: Grabarka
Corp: 5 Inch Incorporated
Alliance: Black Core Alliance
Faction: Unknown
Destroyed: Hulk
System: [redacted]
Security: 0.5
Damage Taken: 11537

Involved parties:

Name: Marlenus (laid the final blow)
Security: 1.3
Corp: Ironfleet Towing And Salvage
Alliance: NONE
Faction: NONE
Ship: Crane
Weapon: Caldari Navy Thunderbolt Heavy Missile
Damage Done: 11537

Destroyed items:

Modulated Strip Miner II, Qty: 2
Medium Cargohold Optimization I, Qty: 2
Medium Shield Booster II
Mining Laser Upgrade II
Azure Plagioclase, Qty: 13015 (Cargo)
Micro ‘Vigor’ I Core Augmentation
Hammerhead I, Qty: 3 (Drone Bay)

Dropped items:

Modulated Strip Miner II
Survey Scanner II
Ditrigonal Thermal Barrier Crystallization I
Ballistic Deflection Field I
Hammerhead I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

I was still staring wildly about, twitchy about his backup that never came, as I cruised up to the wreck and looted it. Then I headed for a nice safe dock. Just as the station environment loaded, here comes local:

[23:52:42] Grabarka > Death by Crane….that’s a new one for me.
[23:52:53] Marlenus > ;-) It doesn’t happen often
[23:53:05] Grabarka > haha, true. enjoy the loot :)
[23:53:05] Marlenus > Only the second such kill for Ironfleet in five years of trying
[23:53:17] Marlenus > Thank yous
[23:53:21] Grabarka > I’m going soft. Been in Empire too long.
[23:53:38] Marlenus > I hope Etternus is your hauler alt … I kept expecting reinforcements
[23:53:58] Grabarka > No alts here, just me.
[23:54:17] Grabarka > My corp/alliance is all in Vale…im waiting for transport out there
[23:54:37] Marlenus > corp mate in system didn’t come help you? You need a new corp. {cries}
[23:55:07] Grabarka > Didn’t even notice him. I’m going to yell at him now!
[23:55:24] Marlenus > LOL … no blame if you didn’t yelp timely I guess
[23:56:21] Marlenus > Look for a little blog post on ironfleet.com in about an hour … I can’t NOT write this one up
[23:56:36] Grabarka > haha, I look forward to reading it.
[23:56:59] Grabarka > Oh, just watch yourself in Vale. Your on my alliances kill list ;-)
[23:57:09] Marlenus > Fair enough, I wouldn’t have it any other way
[23:58:27] Grabarka > Im very tempted to copy your approach :)
[23:58:39] Grabarka > Was clever. I figured my drones would scare you off.
[23:58:47] Marlenus > It’s hours and hours of dull finding people, to be honest
[23:59:07] Grabarka > I didn’t even shoot you. I shot the can cus I thought it was mine :P
[23:59:30] Marlenus > Ooopsie, I was actually coming back for that ore you know
[23:59:53] Grabarka > hahahaha, now I don’t feel as bad about loosing the hulk. At least they are cheap.
[00:00:10] Marlenus > Yeah, not like they used to be
[00:00:22] Grabarka > very true
[00:00:55] Grabarka > Still laughing about that fight tho…I mean I lost to a f’ing CRANE! My corp is laughing too
[00:01:16] Marlenus > I’m glad you can see the fun, some people don’t. :(
[00:01:21] Grabarka > And this is further proof of why I DO NOT PvP
[00:01:38] Grabarka > I’m glad you’re not a total duche, most ppl are.
[00:01:41] Rui Hoshino > so when did a crane get enough firepower to kill?
[00:01:54] Grabarka > I dont know, wasted my Hulk tho
[00:01:54] Marlenus > One heavy missile launcher, every pertinent skill maxxed, lots of prayer
[00:02:05] Grabarka > haha, and no backup for the hulk
[00:02:12] Rui Hoshino > im sure it was the prayer
[00:02:17] Marlenus > And if the hulk has t2 drones or a tank, it’s a coin flip
[00:04:19] Grabarka > Anyone ahve a Hulk they want to sell cheap? :) And I don’t mean parts Merlenus, I want a whole one :-P
[00:04:27] Marlenus > LOL
[00:04:31] Rui Hoshino > lol
[00:05:58] Marlenus > AFK a bit, I have a “hulk down” blog post to write
[00:05:58] Grabarka > later guys, off to get another one :) Fly safe, except you Mar, you can pop all I want
[00:06:11] Marlenus > ;-)

As you can see, he was surprisingly cool about it. And no blame to his corpie for not coming to his rescue; it sounds like he never spoke up and yelled for help.

Of course the best part for me is “My corp is laughing too” — there’s nothing I like better than creating one of those “WTF?” killmails for somebody who actually uses a killboard and will have to explain it for a few days.

The worst part, though, is that now I want another one. The last Hulk I killed in a Crane was in 2008 — I sure hope I don’t have to wait until 2014 to do this again!